Money The Greatest Religion?

I would like to firstly say that this post contradicts the person that I am. For starters, I am a Buddhist. In times of worry and stress I do turn to my deities and prayers for help and also for peace of mind. However I do tend to take a more open view about religion. I do not deny that miracles can happen and that prayers can sometimes be answered. Nevertheless I would like to ask you to read what I am about to write and digest it in the most logical manner possible.

I am sure we all agree that all prayers are not answered and that if you want everything in life religion is not the way to go (Unless of course you are seeking satisfaction in the life you are living). However, lets broaden the definition of religion shall we. Instead of the everyday Buddhism, Hinduism, Islam and Christianity, lets include Money into the mix.

Now my fellow converts (sorry bad joke), if you believe in Money you know that it will never fail you.

For Material Wealth
If you want a new car, Money can get it for you.
If you want a house, Money will get it for you.
If you want a new computer, Money will get it for you.

For Intellectual Wealth
If you want to increase your knowledge, Money will buy you books.
If you want a good education, Money can get it for you. (Yes people even Harvard. Just use Money to buy them expensive facilities, library, tennis court, new campus etc etc just for an admission)
If you want to experience new cultures, Money will make sure you can travel the world and see new and previously unimaginable things.

For Emotional Wealth
Money will allow you to sleep easy at night instead of worrying about earning the next buck to pay your bills.
Money will buy you all the luxuries you could ever want so you will never have to pine for anything.
Money will get you all the envious stares you need to feel confident in yourself (Only applies to people with low self esteem)

If I had forever and an inclination to type out a million and one things Money can get you I would continue with this list. However I hope I have gotten my point through.

There are things however, that money cannot get you. Top in this list is eternal life. Others include a faithful partner/s, true friends and eternal health. But!!!
With Money, you can buy healthy food (organic/pesticide free), buy good exercise equipment heck a whole gym, allow you the time to actually keep fit instead of running around chasing the dollar and Taaa Daaa you have your health for as long as your body does not fail you.

Well I do not want to hit a wrong nerve with any of you readers so i suggest that you take all I have said and am about to say with a pinch of salt and also a dash of pepper and lots and lots of cinnamon.

Lets consider 'working' as a form of worship in this newly established religion of Money. You would realize that the more you pray the more Money you earn and you are therefore better off than the people who pray less. See! it works! The more time you spend worshiping, the better off you are.

I realize that this religion can sometimes be a fickle bitch, most of the time rewarding people who do less strenuous work (office worker) more, compared to people who work a tiring job (construction laborer). And even bankrupting some worshipers mainly involved with the stock market. Despite these discrepancies the general rule still applies. You reap what you sow. Therefore, if you sow more, you will be able to reap more.

It is with this logical assertions that I conclude Money is the greatest religion of all (although requiring more effort). I do not claim that Money can get you everything but it can definitely get you most things. However ask yourself this, can any religion get you everything?

Note: This article is not written in an effort to anger otherwise sensitive people or to debase any other religion. Like I have said before I am a Buddhist and I will continue being a Buddhist the rest of my life.Regardless, I hope this has served to open your mind to new horizons.